A Weekly Q&A Column About Professionalism, Etiquette and Problems in the Workplace
by Sue Morem
The Importance of Socializing with Coworkers
Dear Sue: I am a teacher in an adult school. Although it is
written in the student handbook that no food is to be consumed in the
classroom, I have allowed my students to eat in my classroom during a
break or at lunchtime and I have done the same. I know of several other
teachers who allow this also.
The other day when my boss came in to my classroom during a break
period he saw me eating a sandwich. He also noticed many of the students
eating too. Later that day he informed me I was not to eat in class any
longer. I agreed. He then told me that I was to eat my lunch with the
other employees in the office break room and that I was also supposed to
come up to the office and mingle at break times.
It's not that I donít like my fellow co-workers. I just have a
stressful job, and time alone for a meal in my classroom is wonderful, and
relaxing. I prefer time alone during a break and it is just what I need to
complete my day. I think his requests are out of line. What if I choose to
eat alone, and perhaps even off campus? I donít feel it should matter to
my boss where I eat my lunch or with whom. What do you think? Do you have
Sue Says: I agree with you that your boss should not tell you
who you can eat with, and unless you are required to stay in the building
during lunch, you should be free to choose to eat your lunch wherever you
want. However, if the school prohibits eating in the classroom for both
teachers and students, then you should not be eating in the classroom.
Theoretically, since you have a break room you can eat in, you should be
eating there and most likely the majority of the other teachers do. I am
sure there are others like you who either prefer time alone or use their
lunch time to get other things done and they probably doóI donít see
anything wrong with that.
You need to talk to your boss. The first thing you should do is
apologize for allowing your students to eat in the classroom. This is
something you knew was not permitted, but you allowed it anyway. Express
your regret and assure your boss it wonít happen again. Then ask him if
the same rules apply to teachers. Explain the reasons you prefer to eat in
the classroom and why time alone is necessary for you and how you feel it
impacts your job performance.
There is a good chance your boss doesnít really care where you eat or
with whom, but does not want you eating in the classroom. Perhaps he was
just letting you know that there is a place (the break room) specially
designed for you to eat and take your breaks, and that you should go
there, not that you must go there. However, you should ask for
Assuming you have more freedom than your boss made it sound you do, my
recommendation is that you vary your routine and make an attempt to eat
and take breaks in the break room every now and then. You can still spend
time alone the majority of your break time by yourself, but if you do it
all the time you risk appearing uninterested in others and unapproachable.
When you show up once in awhile you will appear less distant and part of
the team. It may help if you explain to others the reason you frequently
choose to eat alone to ensure no one takes your absence personally or
thinks you donít enjoy their company.
I understand it may not be what you want to do, but it is important for
you to stay connected with others and not isolate yourself all the time.
Youíd be surprised how much you can benefit by mingling with the other
teachers. You will gain information, stay informed about what is going on
and may even gain insight that will help you resolve some of the
challenges you face. Camaraderie with coworkers is an important and
beneficial aspect of any job. It may even be just what you need to relieve
some of the stress.
Sue Morem is a professional speaker, trainer and syndicated columnist. She
is author of the newly released
101 Tips for Graduates and
How to Gain the Professional Edge, Second Edition. You can contact her by email at
firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her web site at
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