Ask Sue
A Weekly Q&A Column About Professionalism, Etiquette and Problems in the Workplace
by Sue Morem

Bad Speaking Habits

Dear Sue: I work with someone who cannot complete a sentence without saying “um” or “ah.” She uses these words repeatedly and it is very distracting. I’d like to be able to find a way to kindly tell her how irritating this habit is, but I fear it would crush her. Her manner of speech is hurting her credibility. Do you think she has any idea how she sounds? Should I say something to her?

- Concerned coworker

Sue Says: Speech patterns are hard to break. Using words such as um, ah, er, and okay is quite common, and as you’ve discovered, can be irritating to listen to. When someone uses speech fillers repeatedly, it is noticed by others. The problem is that it often becomes the only thing that is noticed and ultimately, the only thing that is heard.

Some people express themselves easily and succinctly. Others become tongue-tied under pressure. If someone is caught off guard or feeling pressure to respond, but doesn’t know what to say, saying “um” or “ah” can feel better, than saying nothing at all. What they don’t realize is that the things being said are noises, not words. Silence is a better option. A pause here and there can be a welcome relief; it gives the speaker a chance to gather his or her thoughts, and the listener a chance to digest all that’s been said.

Some people don’t realize how they sound to others. Listening to yourself talk is one of the best ways to identify any annoying speech patterns you may have.

Only you can determine if you want to say something to your coworker or not. If you have a good relationship with her and can approach the subject in a manner that is helpful to her, she may appreciate it.

The good news is that speech patterns can and do change, and anyone can develop new habits.

Sue Morem is a professional speaker, trainer and syndicated columnist. She is author of the newly released 101 Tips for Graduates and How to Gain the Professional Edge, Second Edition. You can contact her by email at asksue@suemorem.com or visit her web site at http://www.suemorem.com. 

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